Every decade of our lives evokes a series of emotions that we cannot truly expect until they happen. I have had expectations most of my adult life, of what it would be like to transition into that next decade of life. These expectations were inspired by the older adults in my life, my mother, aunts, co-workers, and yes, famous women in business, in the movies, on stage, on tv, and in the magazines. I envisioned myself living my best life in my thirties, then again in my forties, and so on. There was tumult in every decade, periods when I was high on the mountain top, super comfortable in my own skin, and other times when I was in the valley wondering how I got there, what I wanted my life to look like and who I wanted to be.

I turned fifty and my body turned on the hot flashes with no consideration of time or place. In that decade I graduated from readers to bifocals. I got braces. I felt like an awkward teenager - a lot. I was so perplexed about the emotions I was experiencing. I learned to navigate the mountains and valleys with the help of my mom, sisters, girlfriends, a life coach, and amazing women doctors to support a healthy mind, body, and spirit. I grew in some really great ways and learned to accept and warmly embrace all that makes me who I am.

Well, good morning sixty.  I am now old enough to live in a retirement community. Not just a 55-plus community, but a Continuing Care/Lifeplan community. The place where I will most likely live the rest of my life. As a senior living marketing professional, I have helped hundreds of aging adults navigate their living options. I am a staunch supporter of continuing care retirement communities, certainly for the access to amenities, services, and healthcare support, but also for the social connections and opportunities for purposeful outreach. Yet after recently touring a community with my husband for our own future planning, I found myself deep in a valley. I lamented at the realization that more years have passed me by than I have in front of me. There has been much loss already and more to come. How did I get here so fast? What do I really want my life to look like? Who do I want to be? And then one wise woman helped me make my way out of the valley.

We happily ran into each other unexpectedly and took a few moments to catch up. She had moved into a retirement community almost two years ago. We had many conversations prior to her move. We worked through all the questions, am I ready, when is the right time, do I want a cottage or an apartment, and all things in between. It eventually happened at just the right time for her. As we caught up she expressed how happy she was that she had made the move. “When I got here, I took off all my hats, and I found me.” How profound. I envision taking off some hats this decade, and maybe some more in the next, but in the meantime, I am reminded that under all the hats, there’s me.